Wanting the Unknowable

(2081)  Niirava rate canderi sathe

On a silent night in only moon's company,
I have wanted You at my cozy dwelling;
Just one time please do look and see me.
At a life mine only, with a song Thine only,
Like a flood tide, fierce and frenzied,
Just one time please do look and see me.

I've no right in any way;
I pray, I don't state a claim.
But zealous mind heeds no restraint;
It simply yearns for Thee.

This my ambition is without limit;
On gaining Infinity, it will be fully accomplished.
Earth keeps on dancing to this wish and its attainment
At a lovers' tryst that can't be conceived.

Sarkarverse article
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Why so secret, why so transient?

(2080)  Kon sonalii prahare suradhara dhare

At some golden moment^[1] along the flow of melody,
You had come; does anybody know it?
Mind You intoxicated, heart You made replete;
Unbeknown to all You lavished perfect consciousness.

So many a season has gone by subsequently;
So much stream of water has merged into the sea.
Smiled and been shed have gone blooms aplenty,
Subject to no reckoning, mixed with time's abyss.

Since that same moment,^[2] I am expectant;
I have kept on counting the minutes, the seconds.^[3]
Wounded by fatigue, I've gotten prone to slumber;
My mental agony, does anyone fathom it?

Sarkarverse article
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I am confused

(2079)  Tomari tare jiivana bhare

All my life, for the sake of You only
I have roamed about; don't You know it?
Shaking off drowsiness, through my tears
I've kept calling; can't You hear it?

Yourself I have sought in an arbor's vista;
Yourself I have looked for in a desert's mirage.
For You I have searched at grandeur of tiirtha;
Don't You see, don't You understand it?

In You I've recognized just one quality:
You can hear, yet You stay unhearing;
You can know, yet You stay unknowing.
Please do explain to me this deceit, what it is!

Sarkarverse article
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When You've taken mind

(2078)  Tumi esecho bhalabesecho, man niye cale gecho

You have come, and You have loved;
Taking psyche, off You've gone.
Tears drop for the sake of You only;
Such a job why have You done?

Upon You alone I muse by day;
At night I know the inmost pain.
My heart's utter angst,
Why have You not fathomed?

Why did You come at all, why did You leave,
And why oh why had You loved me?
Upon a floral avenue, the path of Your going,
A sweet scent You have poured.

Sarkarverse article
Audio recording

I am hung up on Thee

(2077)  Tomay bheve bheve, din cale jay

Thinking, thinking about You,
The days they continue.
Do You, oh do You
Not listen to it;
Do You not fathom it?

Ever I think I will think no more:
An answer to anxiety it offers not.
On that same thought I see I think again,
In case it may get heard, even at end of ages.

Whether it is love You feel or not, You feel;
So why don't You come near?
Though compassion You show not, I go on
As if at heart-core Yours it flashes.

Sarkarverse article
Audio recording

Your coming unforeseen

(2076)  Amar gharete e sharada rate

On this autumn night, to my dwelling,
You came, having lost Your way, Dear.
No hope had I held that there'd be Your advent
Any time at the gate of this wretched being.

I got no opportunity to decorate my domicile;
A wee garland I strung not with the blooms of mind.
And traced not were the sacred-art lines
On lane's surface, waterpot,^[1] or altar beneath.

I understood that this is compassion gratuitous;
I don't understand the formula of invocation.
But I also do not know how to give You up;
For all time You must go on staying.

Sarkarverse article
Audio recording

A cruel game?

(2075)  Tomare bhevechi bahu dure ami

From You I've thought that I am very distant;
But You're near, so very near, I never imagined.
I've journeyed to holy sites in forest and on mountain;
But searching everywhere, I did not discover.

Hey my Deity, You've gone on making liila;
Seeing me race about, You have grinned.
Getting exhausted, when to ground I've fallen,
Right then You lifted up.

Staying within mind, everything You've witnessed;
You have kept watch over all of my filthiness.
With many a beating, inferno to ignite,
You neglected not to purify.

Sarkarverse article
Audio recording